Anonymous asked: I've seen you from afar in person and know what a formidable physical specimen you are. So I wonder: if you could beat up anyone in the world, without consequence, who would it be? Probably that short, red-headed Cheeto addict, right?
Formidable physical specimen, you say? HO HO, say I! Formidable might be somewhat of an understatement. I prefer to term myself, as the French say, formidable. Because everything kicks everything else’s ass when it’s in French. Don’t believe me? Here’s a photo of me punching a baby in the face!
Ok, there’s no pictures of me punching a baby. But here’s one of me looking sexy!
If I had to beat up anyone in the world, it’d be myself. Sometimes I want to give myself a solid knock in the jaw. Bean myself with a shoe from across the room. Would you believe I’ve never been in a fight, Anon? It’s true! I know what you’re thinking… That badass son of a badger has never handed some guy his own left incisor? The answer is no. The closest I came to a fight was defending a lady’s honor on the Metro in Paris from a couple of drunk Spaniards. Which, if I do say so myself, is pretty chivalrous of me. Knaves, beware!
As for short, red-headed Cheeto addicts, is this the bogey you’re referring to?:
